Last week I lost the vision in one of my eyes due to a rare condition called Optic Neuritis. Seriously? I don’t have enough going on with the Crohn’s, the PCOS, and the Endo?
When something bad happens, everyone is quick to rush to support with motivational quotes. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I’ve made lemonade one too many times. I’m over lemonade. I hate lemonade.
I love the support others show by trying to build you back up with those quotes, but I also think it’s unrealistic to take that optimism and run with it. It’s easy to bounce back from something that happens once. You move on. It’s not so easy to do when something repeatedly happens.
I’m writing this because I want others to know, sometimes it’s ok to feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes it’s ok to be angry. Really angry. Sometimes it’s ok to eat gallons of Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked.
In general, I let things roll of my back pretty easily and quickly. When I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease I was sad for approximately a week, then I picked up and moved on. Even after the miscarriage, I just wanted to move on and try again. Well, I’m sick of trying to be optimistic in the place I’m currently in.
I’m sick of seeing negative tests. I’m sick of being at the doctor every morning. I’m sick of waiting on blood test results. I’m sick of being poked by needles.
That was the final strike for me. I’m allowing myself to be angry this week. I deserve for something positive to happen. I need something positive to happen.
I’m praying that next time I write, I’m doing so with both eyes, a happy stomach, and a much better outlook on life but for now, it’s ok to be down. It’s important to acknowledge that sometimes things just suck.
Thanks for reading, thanks for your support, happier times must be ahead…